Monkey

As in a baby monkey!! Hopefully it doesn't look like me, but isn't it just cute? Her/his/its head's so small and bulging eyes kinda scares the shiz out of me (its eyes bordering on puss in the boots puppy dog eyes, hah well it's a monkey who can have puppy dog cute eyes, and planet of the apes I can kill you gaze).

That, yes, that moment right there captured in photo might be my first time EVER to hold an infant, a mammal for that matter, in a motherly cradling a baby position. See how a photo can convey lies?

This is as close I can get to feeling some kind of maternal instinct (and wow, to an animal and not to a human being). However, I am not so excited on the roles of motherhood, specifically bearing children. I seriously hope in the next 10 years (should I lower this down to 8? or 7?) from now when I am stable on all aspects to commit to motherhood that I don't suffer from post partum depression. That would be sad. And... just reaaaally sad.

I am not one of those women who are innately caring and warm and sometimes I find this fact greatly.. alarming. Oh well. I am in my mid-20's and I shouldn't be worrying about this. I have given myself 10 years to figure out the roles I must evolve to in the future. Eeeck.

Note for Future Len: 1) How is the diet going? 2) Are you still married? (hahaha!) 3) If you are, why haven't you left yet!? (haha kidding, you know how Present Len kids, right?) 4) Don't you just miss your Past Len-self where life was less complicated? 5) You are late for the PTA meeting!! Get the hell out of the house NOW!

And how sad is Blue Valentine, yes? Agree?

I will be ready to surrender to the fact that I can be one of those bitter ladies who die old, wrinkly and alone with a dozen unfriendly, fierce black cats, who hiss at the sight of a stranger. If you are a candidate, hit me up, email me, we can arrange our miserable future together and possibly prevent this sad sad prediction from happening, right?