Summing Up New Moon (potentially pissing off fans) Self-Portrait & Pre-Summer Plans

Bella: Saya natin nho, I lab you, mahal kita you're my life Edward :)
Edward: I lab you, too. Ay... teka. Kailangan ko na umalis. Di na kita lab, alis na ako babye, baka makain pala kita or mainom ko dugo mo. my god you're so delish kasi eeeh
Bella: no please stay edward.. huhu di ko kaya mabuhay nang wala ka :( saaaad
Edward: Basta ayoko na sayo. Wag mo akong hanapin ah kasi di na ako babalik. At wag kang magpakamatay please. Promise ko naman sayo di mo na ako makikita ulit. Babush. Im gone, disaaapeaaar!
Bella: Ay shet :''''( pupunta nalang akong forest mag-isa at dun maglulupasay :''''(

Tapos...

Bella: Omg, depressed ako. Pero nagpapakita si Edward kapag medyo malapit na ako mamatay ganyan hmmmm.. shet alam ko na. Eureka. BIKE! Bike, sige i need motorcycles beybeh! whooohooo! Let's fill in the lonely hole in my heart. Lecheng mga nightmares yan. Natatakot na sa akin tatay ko. Papaayos ko nga kay Jacob mga bike na yan. Yeeesss suicide attempts here I come!!!

Punta si Bella kay Jacob

Bella: Pareng Jacob, paayos naman ng mga motorcycle na 'to oh
Jacob: Sige ba, kaw pa :)

At..

Bella: *shet, hot ni jacob ah. Parang nakakalimutan ko si edward nyeta okay 'to, user friendly muna ako sa mokong na to*
Jacob: Bella, tapos na po motor mo, tara try natin sa fields
Bella: Yes!! here comes my suicide attempt.. okay, ayan na. shet pakita si edward, mga apirsyon pero wait.. pano istop 'tong motor *blag nadapa/tumilapon si gaga*
Jacob: *takes of shirt pinunasan dugo ni bella sa ulo*
Bella: *yum.. wordvomits* You kinda look beautiful
Jacob: *blush* :)

then one day...

Jacob: Parang gusto na kita maghihintay ako sayo bella..i wont hurt you and you know all those cliches men tell women
Bella: di pa yata ako ready
Jacob: ummm.. shet may weird na feeling ako dude... sige bella, teka.. get away from me na pala, ayaw po kita masaktan
Bella: bakit?!? shet ka
Jacob: Sige na nga! Werewolf ako, okay? tae diba, si edward vampire? ako werewolf, pero may agreement kami kaya medyo peaceful pa kami, k?
Bella: hmmm.. okay you're not the first monster I met, cool tayo k?

tapos...

Bella: omg, si alice nasa bahay!!!! 
Alice: hi bella. naku 'te akala namin patay ka na ayon sa vision ko, di naman pala, teka amoy aso dito. Ah si Jacob pala. no wonder hmph, babye nga muna ayoko ng away usap muna kayo ng syota mo or whatev
Bella: jacob, okay si alice okay di na ako kakainin
Jacob: Teka nagriring phone mo sagutin ko wait *answers phone* leche wala si bella bye! *baba ng phone*
Bella: sino yun?
Jacob: wala sus
Alice: Si edward un tanga! akala patay ka na!
Bella: Fuck you jacob, i hate you, im going to edward na omg he might kill himself please nnoooooooo bye jacob tae kang hayop ka
Jacob: *sigh*

pagdating kung saan man si edward

Bella: kung ano mang balak mong gawin, wag okay, buhay ako, see????
Edward: hehehehehe arte ko nho umabot pa sa ganito! I lied, i love you so much, akal mo ha, pavirgin effect lang.
Bella: so................ payagan mo na kasi akong maging vampire ulol ka
Edward: oo na nga poeeeee...... one condition lang 
Bella: tae ano, sige na go na!
Edward: marry me :) :) :)
Bella: :D :D :D 

THE END
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Did more research on the "will going to the gym and stopping make me fatter" dilemma. In conclusion, *GYM-ING will not make you fat! It will make you fat if and when you do the following:

• EAT MORE WHEN YOU STOP GOING TO THE GYM

Actually, that is the only bottom line. 

SO YES, I AM GOING TO TRY OUT THAT ONE MONTH GYM THING! Not planning to tremendously work-out as in the real work-out. Eyeing the strength training program to generally tone my bodeeeehh more. Thanks to my father's genes I look like a volleyball varsity player without even trying. It's called the Xena genes. Damn it I hate my calves and my legs.

SAAAAUNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAA ON MONDAY!!!!!!! :3 :3 Kinda scared of what I'll see in the sauna. 

I need a mighty fine body this summer because I'm kinda not afraid of getting a tan. And I'm kinda in the mood to strut around the beach in a bikini. And I kinda just want to spend some cash on bikinis from House of Vanita (WITH UNDERWIRE) because I can use it as a bra on regular days after summer yeay. I want a yellow/red/aqua green bikini hihihihi 

Of course all these kinda plans would change once summer's heat is full-blown and once I check my bank account. depression \wrist hohoho (*#&%)#(&%*($&( Summer is not my kind of season but I am willing to give it a shot this year!

PS 
I kinda totally need boobs for summer